Life throws challenges at everyone, and how we respond can shape not just the outcome, but also our emotional well-being. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) offers a practical framework called the four options for solving any problem. This model doesn’t promise to erase difficulties, but it does give us choices for how to engage with them. Let’s break down each path and how it can show up in daily life.
1. Take Action and Solve It
Sometimes the most straightforward choice is to face the problem head-on. This means identifying what’s within your control and making a plan to change it. If flying makes you anxious, problem-solving might look like taking a fear-of-flying course, learning relaxation techniques, or preparing distractions like music or podcasts. Action steps don’t have to be dramatic; even small efforts can lessen the weight of the challenge.
2. Shift Your Perspective
Not every situation can be fixed, but we can change the way we respond to it. This option is about regulating our emotions and reframing our thoughts. Instead of spiraling into worst-case scenarios, you might remind yourself that air travel is statistically very safe. Gathering information about aviation safety or pilot training could also provide reassurance. By adjusting your mindset, you create space for calmer, more balanced reactions.
3. Accept and Endure
There are times when problems can’t be solved or emotions can’t be fully soothed. In these moments, the healthiest response may be to tolerate the discomfort. Radical acceptance allows us to acknowledge what is happening without adding layers of resistance. If you only fly a few times a year, reminding yourself that the anxiety will pass and showing yourself compassion during those moments can make the experience more bearable.
4. Do Nothing and Remain Stuck
The last option is to continue suffering without taking steps to change your experience. While this path often feels unintentional, it’s still a choice. For example, refusing to address your fear of flying or avoiding trips altogether keeps the problem in place. Recognizing this option highlights our responsibility: staying miserable is possible, but it doesn’t have to be permanent.
Choosing Your Path
The value of this DBT framework lies in its clarity. Every problem presents at least these four possibilities, and being aware of them can help us move from feeling trapped to recognizing we do have agency. Whether you choose to solve, reframe, endure, or—at least for a time—remain stuck, each path reminds us that we hold power in how we respond. With practice, these choices can expand our resilience and strengthen our sense of control in everyday life.
